Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Randomize
