I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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