i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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