What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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