if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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