fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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