I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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