Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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