Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
