normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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