Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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