It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
