We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
