So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
