allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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