escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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