Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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