If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
