4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
