Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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