What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
