dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
