if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
