pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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