how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize