he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
