the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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