I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
