in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
