whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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