It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
