i just wanna soil my oats bro
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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