Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
