yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
