I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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