D3 body, D1 cock
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
