I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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