Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you win again, gameday.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
