Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
