Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
