making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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