My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
