im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
