My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize