She went from zero to smokin in five shots
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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