I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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