the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
