So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
