your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
