Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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