the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
