Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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