So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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