HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize