so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
