she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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