No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i've created a new STD.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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