i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
