She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
