Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
