Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
