Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
