Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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