brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
